Clarification

Ok. After re-reading the previous post myself, I realised may be I might mislead people. "Shame" does not mean someone made my life difficult. Rather, I made someone's life difficult. Actually, it is more than one person. At least 2. I am not very sure about the third one.

Just met one of the two on my way home. The one that said seeing the sun still up when the train goes out of the tunnel made her feel happy. Do not get me wrong. She is a co-worker. Actually, we met prior. It is pure coincidence we ended up doing working at the same place. After many failures at work, I stopped talking to her. Well, to begin with, I am not much of a conversationalist (I prefer to listen and absorb information. I can remember certain minute details of friends.) But I totally stopped talking to her. Except to ask question. Very poor communication skills I admit. At that time, I felt I had no "face" to talk to anyone, not just to her. How could I when I did not produce anything of value, yet everyone thought I was producing something and everyone had relatively high expectations of me. Rather than being haughty, this is more of a "silence due to guilt" thing. It seems like I am making poor excuses for my past deeds now. But this is the truth. This episode is one of my greatest regret in life so far. Currently the biggest one staring at me.

Speaking of regrets, there is the primary school error of selecting an all-boys group for certain competition. No doubt there are a number of outstanding girls. However, my judgement was skewed by my aversion to girls back then. Silly mistake. If I had made the right decision then, I am fairly sure we would have progressed beyond the first round.

Third regret is my childhood reluctance to learn two things. One beginning with c (7-letter word) and the other beginning with s (8-letter word). Why did I not take the chance, I do not know, especially the one beginning with s. Too introverted and too short-sighted (metaphorically speaking, though true literally as well) perhaps.

Fourth regret is following my heart (does not apply exclusively to romance). Usually lead to something awful. It has been proven. The heart cannot be trusted. True, the heart prevents the brain from executing cold calculating moves. Unfortunately, it does a very poor job of protecting my interests in the face of obvious threats. Only by combining the output of the heart and brain in a balanced manner can a person truly function effectively.