Take job for example. Given a choice, I would have continue with science education. After all, I used to and still am immensely interested in working in the WHO or the CDC on disease response. After reading all those books on infectious diseases, I think I'm hooked on pandemic, crisis, infectious agents etc. Then again, I will probably need a medical degree or a PhD at the very least. As far as I know, I am not suited to be a medical doctor because my motivation is still mainly "destruction" rather than "construction". As for PhD, it seems like market for PhDs is not very good at the moment. Besides, I cannot guarantee I will get a position in WHO or CDC even with a PhD...
Now, I am engaged in administrative work. It is not bad I guess. I get to interact with lots of people, do behind-the-scenes work and get training on how to think in a multi-party situation. In a way, it is kind of exciting and it pays quite well. In this society, it is difficult to get around without money and parents are getting old. Thus I need to take financial stability very seriously. However, infectious diseases is something that will really get my pulse racing.
On social side, I think I'm kind of losing direction as well. Recently, I went out with this friend twice. The feeling is not bad. I think we are alike in a number of ways. I actually see myself in her sometimes - I think I would end up very very similar to her if I were in her shoes. I kind of feel something, something very vague. I cannot even define what this is. If someone were to ask me who I like at the moment, I would probably be able name 2. Well... "like" is a term that I guess most people would use. I prefer "positive feeling". The current me is not qualified to "like" anyone. But this friend?
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