Today and yesterday was a mad rush. Yesterday was a rush to perform 3 immunology techniques. Today was a rush to perform second day procedures of 2 of them and to look after my millions of good friends. Oh oh! There was a module test in between as well. Very happening 2 days. Why? Because I want to attend another of Gossip Lane (GL) meetings. Haha. As much as I hate to admit, as much as I think I am different from them, I cannot bear not going (unless of course, going means severely threatening my academic survival). I think it has been some time since such a feeling occurred. Class outings has ceased for a number of years. I guess I am treating GL outings as a replacement for class outings. Except, I am the odd one out here. Well... you see, the rest are females.
In recent years, males increasingly bore me. Somehow, I have come to see them as competitors. A threat to be eliminated. A challenge to be surmounted. Certain females do fall into this group as well, though somehow, I tend to view them with less hostility. . Well... ok. I do differentiate between male friends and male "not-friends". I still get along well with male friends, though I have come to view male "not-friends" with increasing hostility. "Alpha-Male" syndrome? Perhaps.
Two things about GL that attracts me. 1) attractive females 2) unprecedented opportunity to learn more about female psyche (really! presents to give/not to give, dressing, how to handle romance issues. There is always something new to learn through their gossiping).
Seems like LTYS is really going after VW, though it appears VW is unmoved. I think LTYS's courage is commendable, considering his economic ability is rather... weak, given his qualifications. I believe LTYS can do much more. But I think, in his current status and known capabilities, he has a lot of room to improve (see? remember what I say about hostility?). I think he has the potential to do it. The question is whether he can realise this potential. The rest of GL gang is progressing well. Hope this is an upward trend for them all.
Somehow, I think I have always confused between when is it protective instinct at work and when is it that I like someone. Like for WQ, I think I knew from the start that it is protective instinct at play due to the circumstances. But for VW and MS, which is it really? I have no clue. Oh. Before I forget, I kind of feel strange at GL meetings. Somehow, I think they kind of forgot that there is a possibility that I might like one of them. It would be interesting to know if this is really the case or otherwise. If this is the case, then why is this so. Then again, I cannot ask directly. Knowing them, more guessing will come, meaning more troubles.
Ah. After this many lines about GL, time to shift focus to work. Work has been piling up. One of my modules appears to be totally beyond my grasp. Perhaps I have overestimated my capabilities. Good thing I do have life-lines that I can use to bail me out. But I think I have lost a lot of interest in modules. All I am interested in is Project Final Fantasy because it is the key to my class. That is not all. Project Final Fantasy is my hobby turned reality. It is also my avenue for redemption. For someone who has failed in 2 of 3 JC prelims exams and has continued the trend of being lousy at benchwork throughout most of his subsequent academic history, Project Final Fantasy presents a great leap in my abilities. From fumbling at first attempts to being able to do reasonably well from the start. From not knowing what problems to look out for to being able to decide how best to do an experiment. I think I have grown a lot in the past year. Must really thank my previous mentor and my current seniors for their help. I think when I am immersed in an environment with strong role models, I will also grow stronger faster. Yes. The competition is stiff. But strong competitors can bring me to the next level. However, despite my perceived improvements, I think Project Final Fantasy might end up like its namesake - that this could be my final project in science.
Drafts to submit. Tests to study. Presentations to prepare. All in a span of 8 weeks. Dare I say that this period is the true test of capabilities and determination for anyone. I think my competitors are slightly ahead of me. Therefore, I have to pull out my inner "hollow" to bolster my strength.
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