Trent is a 19-year-old student. Towards the end of his graduating year, he and his close friends planned to go clubbing since some of them thought it would be a good way to celebrate their graduation. Trent, who had not gone clubbing before, was excited about this “in” activity.
However, Trent’s mother, Wanda, was uncomfortable with clubbing. All Wanda knew about clubbing were the negative portrayals in dramas. Whenever Trent mentioned about clubbing, Wanda would indicate her disapproval by telling him how dangerous a club is. Wanda had never met Trent’s friends and was afraid he would be in bad company. Trent was adamant on going despite knowing that Wanda was uncomfortable with his decision
Main problem: Eventually, Wanda relented and allowed Trent to go, telling him to not be home too late. Trent agreed. Wanda felt that since Trent was already 19, it was time she went easier on him but did not articulate this to Trent. That night, Trent suddenly sent an SMS home, saying he will be staying out overnight --- something which he has done only once at a school camp. Wanda was very angry. She thought: What if something happen to him? I told him to be home early!
When Trent came home the next day, the mother and son quarrelled over why he stayed out.
What could Trent and Wanda do so that Wanda will feel less uneasy about his going clubbing and his staying out overnight, something which was not planned beforehand?
However, Trent’s mother, Wanda, was uncomfortable with clubbing. All Wanda knew about clubbing were the negative portrayals in dramas. Whenever Trent mentioned about clubbing, Wanda would indicate her disapproval by telling him how dangerous a club is. Wanda had never met Trent’s friends and was afraid he would be in bad company. Trent was adamant on going despite knowing that Wanda was uncomfortable with his decision
Main problem: Eventually, Wanda relented and allowed Trent to go, telling him to not be home too late. Trent agreed. Wanda felt that since Trent was already 19, it was time she went easier on him but did not articulate this to Trent. That night, Trent suddenly sent an SMS home, saying he will be staying out overnight --- something which he has done only once at a school camp. Wanda was very angry. She thought: What if something happen to him? I told him to be home early!
When Trent came home the next day, the mother and son quarrelled over why he stayed out.
What could Trent and Wanda do so that Wanda will feel less uneasy about his going clubbing and his staying out overnight, something which was not planned beforehand?
Hi Jackson.. I feel that Wanda is already giving in to Trent by allowing him to go clubbing. Trent on the other hand, should have recognized that his mother is already giving him some freedom by letting him go. So he should have stuck to the agreement and go home after clubbing since it is his first time.
ReplyDeleteTrent should apologise to Wanda about staying out and not sticking to the agreement while Wanda should explain to Trent about why she is not happy over him staying out. Since Wanda has not met Trent’s friends, I believe that she is worried about him being in bad company. Perhaps Trent could introduce his friends to Wanda. Knowing who Trent is hanging out with will probably make Wanda more comfortable with him going clubbing.
It is an innate feeling of mothers to care for their kids. I feel that Wanda was being an understanding mother. She was worried over her son's safety, yet she granted him the permission to enjoy the night in a club. However, Wanda should avoid confrontation at all cost as it would only have a detrimental effect on their relationship. She should rather talk to her son on his misconduct gently than scold him.
ReplyDeleteTrent, on the other hand, should be more responsible for his actions. Being a matured 19 year old teenager, he should have kept to his promise and be back home. I agree with Joyce that Trent should at least introduce his friends to his mother to lessen her worries.IF he really has to spend the night out, a simple message of " I'll be out overnight" will only compound his mother's worries. Instead, he should have provided her with more details like his whereabouts and the people he is with.
Actually Trent had shown his respect to Wanda by informed her about the place he went. Meanwhile Wanda had conceded to Trent by just asking him to come back earlier although she was very worried. I agree with Joyce and Rauf that Trent should appreciate Wanda’s concern and stuck to the agreement. This could avoid the conflict happened in the first place.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, if Wanda was able to tell Trend about her feelings instead of quarreled with him, Trend would be softened. This could even enhance their relationship. On the other hand, Trend could let her mother calm down first and explained to her later. Both of them could recognize the problem better when they remain calm.
I think Wanda's feeling as a mother is understandable. If I were her, I will have the same struggle and worries too. As to my opinion, a boy of 19 years old still immature enough to resist the temptations that could be brought by clubbing and he might not mature enough to differentiate what is good and what is bad. Thus he might immerse himself in as many "in" stuff as he loves to find the pleasure from it. As a mother who loves him, of course she would feel worried about it.
ReplyDeleteTo compromise, I suggest that the mother can ask Trend to bring his friends home for dinner, so that his mom can at least know what kind of friends he is going out with. Apart from that, I also agree with Joyce and Mee Hiong that Trend should stick to his promise to his mum and go back home on time. If he can show some respect to his mum in this case, I believe that his mom might trust him more in the future and grant him more freedom to go out with friends next time.