Project Final Fantasy: Week 11.5

Week 11.5. Assay does not seem to be working although further verification is needed. I suddenly realized my treatment protocol is flawed. Therefore, I have to redo. Anyway, I am using a new system and therefore will have to redo in any case. Oh well, another roadblock. At least I think I am getting really used to the routine of going to work every single day. The only thing I need to be cautious about is to ensure that I really put in 100% concentration when I am working.

Outing with Gossip Lane people again. Probably the final outing, until Project Final Fantasy ends. If memory serves, they are the only ones who made me, to date, having to rush to catch the last train twice. Haha. They are my very good friends (Possibly the best of friends, even though I (sometimes) do feel kinda weird when going out with them. Imagine 1 guy with 6 pretty girls [I really mean it. The part about pretty.]). They wanted me to get top grades "for them". Haha. Very interesting. Even my parents do not bother about such things and they actually said that. This is why I think I am closer to my friends than my parents. Yup. I will. For myself, for them, for my supervisors, for my previous mentor and for my parents (even though they do not care).

Maybe Not Suited For Research

Now, given that there are so many ways to do things, how can I guarantee that the way I am doing things are correct? How can I be 100% (actually, 1000% be even better) that my results are entirely correct and accurate? For someone who desires 100% correct (I am more or a less a perfectionist where work is concerned, but not else where.), this uncertainty is gnawing at me.

Inertia to do work

Ever go through all the preparatory procedures but just before you start on the actual, you suddenly felt that you do not really feel like do it there and then? Well, that happened to me at least twice this week. Is my resolve weakening? Then again, I persisted and completed them. Experience really matters. Experience brings not only skills, but also mental strength.

Project Final Fantasy Update: Week 10.5

Week 10.5. Reconstituted all 3 drugs (unsure if they are contaminated in the process) and assay kit. Performed plating test for 24-well plate. Subcultured 5 flasks of cells. Made new culture reagents. I am behind time. Why? Because I have not been careful enough - strange things appeared in my flasks, despite the precautions I have taken since the last incidence. I must learn not to take things for granted. Biochemical C staining came out alright. That is the only good thing that came out. Organism assay need to redo certain parts. Sometimes, I hate myself for not being able to perform these simple tasks well.

On social front, I think my lab is a super close group. We got together for farewell dinner to 2 of our colleagues.We have lunch together, tea break together, breakfast together. Very, very nice. I really really want to earn my keep and prove that I can truly be one of them. Also, there is a new project that requires me to work with new people. I have seen only 1 of them (out of 4). Hopefully we can work well together and produce good results.

Note to self: It does not matter what others are doing. As long as I have done all that I can and all that is right, I am progressing. It is my progess that counts. The "enemy" is me. As long as I have surpassed myself, I would have surpassed most of the others. Real GN drive will prevail over false drives.

Before Official Start of Final Operation...

With 3 preparatory years exhausted, the time has come for the real challenge. Challenge in the real environment. Yes. I can memorize. I can think (though not as well as I liked). I can endure (though not as determined as before, but it is improving). However, it is the critical-on-the-spot thinking that I lack and the ability to plan around schedules that I am left wanting. Oh yes. I forgot to mention the perpetual trouble of being careless (or absent-minded). Through this challenge, I hope to seal these gaps. Only then, can I compete with the top people.

It is time to grow. Grow faster than anyone else!

Note to self: Knowing when to rest is important also. Remember: Haste makes waste.

Warning Signs

While compiling data, a few "problems" cropped up.

1. According to my assay, the amount of free biochemical  is actually more than that of total biochemical. (Problem with my data?)
2. Cell confluency used in assay is slightly less than that of that for Organism infected assay. (problem with correlating the data?)

In any case, we have ran out of the assay kit. When the kit comes, I think I will need to do a new repeat to confirm the data. Looks like I have not done so much work after all.

Reached Limit and Miscellaneous Talk

I think I have finally reached my body's limit. Getting up at 5 plus, 6 a.m. every single day, reach home only at 9, 10, 11p.m. or even near midnight for almost consecutive 4-5 weeks. Today, my brain really screamed for a break (It does not  help that my sore throat has been troubling me since start of this week). Well... At least for this long weekend, I can take some time to read some research papers and organize my data (They are organized. But not as good as I liked them to be.).

For some time, some people have commented on me being a perfectionist. Alright. I accept that. However, this is only because my real inner self is really quite sloppy and lazy. I need a "rational" self to control that - hence the perfectionist tag. You probably cannot imagine the mayhem if I did not set (or try to set) a high standard for myself. A senior co-worker once commented that whoever works under me will have a hard time (assuming I will hold some leadership position someday). That is kind of true. I guess. I will expect certain tasks to be completed by a certain time (who does not?) and they be completed in an acceptable manner to me. Of course. I tend to be more lenient to the others (which usually does not apply when I rate myself).

One another note, I wrote to someone on facebook today, regarding that person's future career. Somehow I was kind of eager to see that person's response and was moderately elated to have seen it. I would strongly deny liking that person, though I admit that there is positive feeling towards this person (This is a typical response to me if anyone asks THAT typical question.). While I think we have very different personalities, response to situations and social experience, we are not all that different in our innate thinking.