Time doesn't fly. It flashes past.

Like I said, time flashes by. Lecturer reminded us its our last lecture today. I could still remember quite vividly that on the first lecture, I was thinking that Lecturer is weird man. I still think he is though. Bangkok trip, cycling trip with That Person and dinner at a senior's house still quite fresh in my mind. They all happened 4 or 5 months ago.

Ok. I will not disclose who That Person is. Actually, if I am not careful, I could have called two other people by that title. Experience says that I am biased towards people who looked like they could use my help or who actually used it. Good thing that after That Incident, I smartened up. Unfortunately, I do not think there will be any progress with That Person. Unlike what you may think, there is actually nothing so far. Like a cup of water. Slightliy better tasting than Newater, but a far cry compared to say a cup of strong coffee. Oh well. At least I can spend all my energy on work.

Perhaps I have not escaped Kyoka Suigetsu after all. I am still too laid back for my own good. Or is this the backlash from the years of suppressed laziness? Or have I reached the limits of my ability?

Then there is the Covert Op (pardon me for my poor vocabulary). I still have not figured out Covert Op. I find Covert Op kind of strange. At first, Covert Op seemed nice. But somehow, I find Covert Op strange since the later half of last year. Was it because Covert Op was piling pressure on me? It did not help that Covert Op's "other half" is here. Who knows what they are doing?

According to Covert Op, Covert Op's friend made a fundamental mistake on an assignment. I told Covert Op to correct the friend. Covert Op said no need and that Covert Op is not very close to that friend. This is not the first time I heard Covert Op saying people I thought were Covert Op's good friends as friends who are "not so close". Like I said, I did not really understand Covert Op. I believe that it does not matter if that person is your good friend or not. If that person has a problem and you can help, you should help. This is how I see it academically and in the lab at least - I am not very rich financially unfortunately.

Now, this question comes to mind: If Covert Op does this to someone Covert Op calls a friend, then Covert Op might do the same thing to me one day as well. Scary scary person.

Massive Roadblock

Finally done with a "mega-project" last week. Not to 100% satisfaction though. Well... ok. Not even 50% satisfaction. Then again, I glad to have learnt many things and hopefully these will help in my next "mega-project". ce>

Since the completion of "mega-project", I have been languishing in games. Torchlight. A friend commented that torchlight is a synonym of flashlight. Apparently, flashlight is a name for some "adult" toys --- He thought I was playing with that "adult" toy. Sigh....

Anyway, this friend is supposed to be a high-flyer academic-wise. That he knew such obscure stuff, I would like to attribute to his wide exposure to society, particularly since he studied overseas for several years (Rather than some other reasons that is... probably not suitable for public airing). Then again, I felt some kind of apathy in him towards academics when he returned. Perhaps he was discouraged by the stiff competition he faced overseas. Or perhaps the pursuit of academic accomplishments has made me ignorant of the norms of young local adult males. Time to mix more with males? Hopefully, he knows what he is doing.

This Torchlight game I must get over with.

Very Very Important Memo to Self

Very very important memo to self.

Always make a list of to do's in Excel. Follow the list.

Number of journals read does not matter. What matters is that I have absorbed what was read. Do not miss out any details.

Journal reading should not stop after literature review. Keeping abreast of publications will help plan experiments.

Label results file properly and be consistent with labeling.

Make proper documentations of experiments done. This will avoid unnecessary repeats.

Regularly compile results. Once every two weeks is a good routine. Also, if any results are not to satisfaction, this will help discover them in time.

Good results from experiments is a cumulative process - Every step counts. Pay attention to every step. Do not overlook any.

Ask when in doubt. There will be someone who can help.

If I have work to do, just book the machine. It's every man for himself. I will lose out if I wait for others to finish their work. If I don't need to use it, then just cancel it later -- too bad they didn't come earlier.

Focus on one thing at a time first. Multi-task only when I can perform an experiment reasonably well. Proper results is important. Remember how I worked for 1 semester for nothing.

Use my BRAIN when doing lab work. I can analyze stuff on paper. But I must do it in lab as well.

Good relationships in lab is very very important. I must practise what I learnt in 1006 and 2007.

Do not assume I know. Be humble.

Report cannot be done last minute. I must start at least 1 month in advance and expect multiple changes. Watch out for typo and grammatical mistakes also.

Do not jump to conclusions. Analyze ALL available data and literature first. An exotic idea may not be the correct or logical one.

Standardize fonts on presentation. Use ONE font only.

Towards end of stay in Lab 3?

It's been 2 fun semesters. Perhaps fun is not what most people would put it. Still, I think it's been fun.

Honours students already stopped coming to lab, preferring to write their thesis at home. Makes the lab feel very quiet(they are a very boisterous (read: noisy and gossipy) bunch of girls). I kind of miss them though. Looks like I will need a bit more time to warm up to new labmates next year... Hope honours students do well in their projects.

From lab at 7:40 on Saturday

I read a biography of Dr. James D. Watson, part of the team who discovered the double helix structure of DNA. If memory serves, he said that people do not come to the laboratory on a saturday. UNLESS they are working on something really interesting.

Of course, I am in the laboratory on a saturday. Am I doing something really interesting? Probably so. I do want to confirm my results. However, is this the most important reason for me being in the laboratory on a saturday morning? Probably not. Dateline is in sight but the goods have yet to be delivered --- I am rushing for time because of my squandering of time and efforts for half a year.

Memo to self and anyone who reads:

1. Plan your things properly.

2. Draw a realistic timeline and paste it somewhere so you can see it every day.

3. Troubleshoot immediately, seek help immediately.

4. Take stock of what you did so you know how much you have progressed.

Sure, these looks super simple. Perhaps I am just too thick in the head to put it to practice. I am okay with theoretical stuff, on paper. When it comes to real work, well, I need to put in more effort. Perhaps it is not more effort. But rather, more using of brains and analysis of problems in real work.

On another note, I have a problem. How do I distinguish real fondness of someone, from say, the want to help/protect someone, or just because I am stressed and that person is nice to talk to because that person is someone outside my sources of stress?

Surprise at lecture

Ok. Status report. Not much done.

However, I was finally able to perform a basic experiment to acceptable level. This, after 8 months. Shows how slow I am.

I still remember a scenario 6 years ago. Person X was seated there. I came later and hesitated to sit beside Person X for reason I shall not reveal.

Today, Person Y surprisingly came. Was hoping Person Y would turn up for some time. But after a while, I gave up. Too many things require my more immediate attention. So Person Y came. Ok... then Person Y sat beside me. That was a big big plus. Actually, I was hoping for that.

What a turn of events from 6 years ago. Almost every detail was reversed. However, this is probably transient. I am simply inundated with work. Probably not the type Person Y is looking for anyway. Oh well.

Uncertainties

A lot of uncertainties crept in again....

1. Project Supervisor?
2. Further studies?
3. Gene Chip?
4. Where am I going with my life?
5. How come I cannot think with my head and execute with my hands?


Point 1: It seems almost everyone has started to look for a supervisor. Even if the supervisor is good but mentor is not good, then what is the point? Currently, I have yet to achieve satisfactory ability to work independently. Theoretically, I could... But then things always don't go what I thought it will be...

Point 2: Further studies? Everyone I know seems to assume that I will go on to do further studies. But if I cannot work independently, further studies will only make my life miserable. Then again, I could see it as a way to stretch myself. After all, some do say "If you started out knowing everything, then you could have skipped school." But then, there are those who say "You should be able to do such things at this level". So it is obvious that there is no one truth to such things. Everyone has their own views -- Blindly following them will only lead to doom.

Point 3: Microarray yielded what seniors considered impossible or even ridiculous data. But mentor says it is correct. What to do? On one hand, I trust my mentor. On the other, seniors are not dumb. So how?

Point 4: Financial planning and perhaps.... family planning have not started. Getting old already...

Point 5: This is by far, the most demoralizing part. Ability to think things through, but not the ability to carry experiment to prove them is pathetic for a scientist. My efforts to solve this has yielded dismal results... Perhaps I did not try hard enough?